Oh, Azeroth how do I love thee? Your beautiful elven forests and your expansive tauren-bearing plains, your flat waveless oceans. I must bid thee farewell. Never again will I enjoy a moonlit night in the Shimmering Flats, getting rabies from Rabid Thistle Bears, or ending one more Murlocs life.
Why you ask must I go? You’re too good to me, you offer too much. Your bounty and the quest to gain just a little more powerful spells and armor is overwhelming.
No, its not you. Really it’s me. I’m a night person, unless the sun is coming up, going to sleep for me is a conscious process. I just don’t seem to get tired, especially if I am spending time with you.
Oh and that’s the other thing, you know how I can stay focused. If I’m enjoying my work, I can easily work 16 hours a day. Heck, I read that last Harry Potter in four sittings.
So you see, its really about me. I need to move on and pay attention to my life without you. I’ve got a great family and a really cool job…Oh, now, don’t cry. Remember the good times; flying on the backs of griffons, riding a nightsabre through Crossroads. Hah, oh, that got the guards upset…
So this it. You’ll be fine. I know you will be. I know we haven’t discussed this before, but I know you’ve been cheating on me, I’ve seen the stories. More than 2 million other lovers! I’m glad we’re done. I must remain strong. Goodbye, and don’t call me or email me with “special offers”. Farewell, Azeroth.
(At midnight tonight my WorldOfWarcraftaccount expires. Awesome game, but good MMORPGs and me just don’t mix well.)